PAUSE, THINK, REACT

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I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou

We purchased a home and I remember the feeling of being the new kid on the block. Beaming with energy and excitement we went through the visions we had for our two-flat and cleaned around the property daily. One day, I came home and there was a car double parked in the street, but not in the open parking space in front of our house. I rolled down my window, smiled and politely asked the woman in the car if I could park there. She didn’t move and stared at me, I knew that there was plenty of space to back in, but I wanted to be safe and just see if she could move up just while I parked. She did not move, I backed in and parked. As I exited my car, I heard her door shut, someone came out on the porch next door and she began to shout expletives at me. I was called every name in the book. I stopped, looked at her and ascended the stairs to my home. I glanced at the person on the porch next door and his smile almost said I am sorry as he listened to her curse me out.

What came over me as I went in and told my husband, was an incredible sense of sadness. I was not angry, those words did not harm me, they hurt her more, because her anger grew and I knew it was not healthy.  If this woman was my neighbor and it turned out later that she was, the opportunity for neighborly respect and a chance to know someone else in this strange new neighborhood diminished. I am happy that I had the wisdom to pause, think and not react negatively to the pain and anger that was exploding next to me. I was calm in the face of so much anger, with good reason, I didn’t know where this was going or could have headed.

The true story above is a reminder to us all that we have a responsibility to each other in a properly functioning society. No, my little incident above is not a reflection on world change, but it is an example that a moment’s haste can cost us so much. I wanted to apologize for whatever I did that triggered her rage, but I knew that it was not me. We all have moments where our reactions do not match the situation at hand. We walk around with such pinned up anger that we simply can’t exercise the power of pausing, thinking, and then reacting. Here in Chicago the world is taking a glance at the violence that is plaguing our young and threatening the future of so many family legacies. The young, who are thought to be the promise and hope of the world are having their names chiseled on stone long before their parents, grandparents and great grandparents. For some, an entire family name dies with them. Pause, think and react is a message to all of us, that in one moment you can change the energy and direction of so many lives around you, including your own.

To the domestic violence abuser, pause, think, react to the situation at hand, not to your loved one.

To those inflicted with road rage, pause, think, react to the road ahead, not another driver, don’t bring anger behind the wheel.

To family members, pause, think, react, a true spiritual brother’s/sister’s keeper finds wisdom in the unity prayer, not in divisive connivery.

To those who grapple with violence’s grip, we acknowledge the pain that we cannot feel for you, but pause, think and react, the life you save is a reflection of what the future holds for you and them. In that moment, the choice is in your hands.

To those in the throngs of struggle, pause, think and react, in that moment where despair seems to trap you, the keys have a way of showing up when you allow the pain to escape through tears, writing, talking, exercise and prayer/meditation, whatever you do.

Pause, think and react because there are enough of us in this world that can do something about the legacy that we are leaving our young.

I know that this is not a message that everyone will get, there are many teachers in the world, but there are enough of us who believe in the human capacity to grow rich branches from strong trees of ancestry to make a difference. Our examples are being watched and listened to by careful little eyes and ears that glow with the excitement to learn from mommy, daddy, family and friends. My husband and I teach our child about his family and friends that we have around us in a positive manner, he learns about the world from us first. We have a responsibility to teach them truth. A caution about truth; it should not always be based on our opinions that are born out of pain that they have never experienced, but instead with the reminder of their innocence and desire for love, learning and a future of promise. Pause, think and react about how what we say around them about other people, places and things will register in their minds. Apply this same philosophy to how we treat other adults in the world and we’re on to something good for all of society at large, a society where people strive to achieve happiness not just in their favor, but in everyone’s favor. I really hope that whatever troubled my neighbor, that I told you about at the start of this post has healed. Please pause, think and react friends. Those feelings that are trapped inside of you are part of your personal library of emotions. It’s up to you to determine which chapter to play out from day-to-day. In the words of Gwendolyn Brooks, ”We are each others harvest, We are each others business, We are each others magnitude and bond”. Pause, think react.

A message to Unlock Your Champion, by http://www.nicolecabell.com

WHAT ARE WE DOING?

Sometimes I just sit back and watch other human experiences happen around me. I did not say that I don’t participate, I simply have moments that spark reflection, introspection. Today my thought juices are flowing on the all too often, much too common ease at which others use words or actions to bring others down. I am on a few facebook, twitter pages and walk a social path that puts me in the company of others at times. Let me start by saying that for the most part the experiences are good, warm. Communications is what makes the world go round and people are engaging more and more. However, it is in moments where I witness people bashing, name throwing, negatively targeted audiences or cultures that spark this blog entry, “What Are We Doing”?

Inside and behind the doors of every home or homeless abode, lives a human being waiting to be inspired each and everyday. Our actions as human beings can be as welcoming and contributing to the encouragement and growth of others as we want them to be. What are we doing when we use trigger words that spread a message to others that make them think or feel negatively about another? What are we doing when many of us exit the walls of churches everywhere that teach love in the pulpit, but then fire off tongues of venom against our neighbors and so called friends? What are we doing when we stand behind our desks and have private meetings that ridicule a not-present employee, only to have them feel inferior in an environment where they are trying to become a part of the team? What are we doing when we use our influence as family members to stage a coup against another family member through private conversations or hidden posts, with obvious meaning?

Behind closed doors I admit, that I am sorry to have not written this post sooner. I am inspired by a few friends that I must say honor this code, thank you Ced, Tam, Joe H. and Cam W., to name a few. When in your presence I am happy to report that inspiration and encouragement are present. I hope that someone is inspired and encouraged to ask the question. What am I doing to help make a heart beat a little faster with the joy of my presence? What am I doing to give a child hope today? What are we doing that we would want done to us in return? So as I continue to engage and reflect on this human experience, I am trying to do my part, no I’m not perfect, but I will ask myself the same question in a personal way.

“What am I doing”?

A lesson on being thankful. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Slipping and sliding through the winding roads of life, Nigel stopped and realized that he had more to be thankful for than once thought. He had recently won the community speech contest in his neighborhood. Out of all the contestants in the speech contest his talk on “The Beauty in Nature” took the gold award for Most Inspirational. His story simple and pure was one of struggle and defeat. He never accomplished anything major in his 35 years of life (or so he thought), just a couple of honorable mentions in the newspaper for helping neighbors make the most beautiful lawns. Nigel was a Horticulturist and made beautiful creations out of any type of plant. He lost his father at age 10 and to cope with those empty feelings within, he developed a deep love for nature.

From those small gestures of helping senior citizens cultivate their community lawns during gardening workshops, Nigel had learned (through this award) that he was a living example of inspiration to others. Nigel realized that the little things in life could make a big difference in the lives of others. This Thanksgiving, he was thankful for the life lessons that gardening had taught him, for the time on Earth that he had with his Father and for God’s love for him.

Several Twitter Friends were asked what they were thankful for. Take a look at what they had to say:

@treschic67 to @Chicagoradio I’m most Thankful to GOD ..HE Has Blessed me With a Sound Mind & Body So I Can Share my Blessings, a Loving Family & great Friends

@matthewmilam to @chicagoradio I’m thankful that my sense of humor has not gotten me slapped.

@MsKatrinaLynn to @CHICAGORADIO: Question of the day: What are you thankful for? #Thankful GOD, Fabulous family and friends, working and health!

@CHICAGORADIO I am thankful for God, love, family, friends, health, God’s classical 4 elements of fire, water, earth and Air. #Thankful

@NyreeSupreme (repeating) @CHICAGORADIO I am thankful for God, love, family, friends, health, God’s classical 4 elements of fire, water, earth and Air. #Thankful

@BgKahuna to @CHICAGORADIO: Quest of the day: What are you thankful for?->My family, my health, The musical The Wiz, and people who can spell my name

@SpankBoogie to @CHICAGORADIO: Question of the day: What are you thankful for? knowing God, family, and my house..ohh having 2 bthrms works : )

@ChicagoPhotoSho to @CHICAGORADIO good health, family, friends. I have it all 🙂

What are you most thankful for?

Does The Gender Pay Gap Still Exist?

Clearly so much progress has been made since the days when women were not allowed to wear pants and Bessie Coleman stepped into the cockpit and made history. However, I wondered where we are today in our views on women and pay in the workplace. On Wednesday, my twitter Question Of The Day focused on that very subject. I have only listed responses from some of my followers and not my responses to them. I will add those later. Thank you everyone on Twitter and my blog for the comments and great feedback. Please feel free to post comments to this discussion.

10/22/09 CHICAGORADIO Twitter Question of The Day: Are women still facing a gender pay gap in the workplace?

Per @techwoman the pay exists – that’s just a fact. The q is why-sexism? Women not fighting for raises?

Per @JaeKeys Absolutely!!

Per @ThePUISSANT1I can honesty say that men & women aren’t treated = in any work environment. I find myself fighting daily 4 the position

Per @SoulPurposeOOC Not as much in the tech sector. If a job posts @ 175k that’s what it is 4 whomever gets the job. But there R fewer women vying

Per @SoulPurposeOOC Gr8 discussion! @CHICAGORADIO



Per @
treschic67 @chicagoradio If women as a whole were less Passive(more aggressive) the Gap would Not Be so Great. Hope I don’t offend anyone

Per @treschic67 last point…Successful Women like Oprah, Hilary Clinton, Michelle Obama, are NOT Passive

 


Per @Annielicious I can’t give an opinion on that, because I don’t live in that world. I will say the job of motherhood is priceless though.

Per @
Annielicious And also a husband @annieburltalk that keeps me very happy. He loves me, I love him and he makes the best Chocolate Martinis !

 


Per @
Annielicious Life just ended up that way & I wouldn’t change it. Through life’s bs that has been dished I have 2 beautiful kids in the process

Per @
SoulPurposeOOC Wmn R playing in a field designed by the “gd ole boy ntwrk” & must break thru to gt ahead. It’s against the grain



Per @
treschic67 I see no difference between male or female Attorneys. In fact, many female lawyers bill more hrs than male Lawyers

Per @
treschic67 At the same rates or Sometimes MORE.

Per @
treschic67 @chicagoradio I think in a less aggresive Field,Men make more than women (men are more aggressive than women) they ASK 4 more.

Per @Annielicious Most women don’t buy into old roles. We just want the job done right the first time lol

 


Per @
treschic67 @chicagoradio I’m an Attorney & women make up a large proportion of Attorneys at Larger Firms. Law is no longer male dominated


 
 


Per @Goodfellas773 Well cuz all of the old heads are still in power with there old ways, hell I don’t know lol??

Per @
SoulPurposeOOC Similarly, some wmn leave jobs altogether & start home biz for that same freedom of choice & time

Per @
SoulPurposeOOC Absolutely. Many wmn found that Quality of life was more impt & being hm 4 yr kids paramount


Per @treschic67 <It Depends on Your Profession

Per @Goodfellas773 YES! in middle America about the same but in Corp.America, its still a big gap smh

 

Per @SoulPurposeOOC Not as much in the tech sector. If a jb posts @ 175k that's what it is 4 whomever gets the job. But there R fewer wmn vying

CHICAGO RADIO PORTRAIT OF AN ARTIST: A CONVERSATION WITH TREEHOUSE FLAVOR – Schott Styles & Sean Love!

Introducing TREEHOUSE FLAVOR! Hip Hop 4 The Kids!

Black History Month would not be complete without a focus on hip hop, that is focused on the family. That’s right these two men from Chicago have been rhyming together for more than a decade. Now fathers and husbands, Schott Styles and Sean Love have a few messages for the shorties that’s all positive and all about the rhymes.  Tune in on Monday, February 22, 2010 at 8am when we interview TREEHOUSE FLAVOR !  Click on one of the images to join the interview.

NICOLE CABELL INTERVIEWS NICOLE CABELL

Women’s History month would not be complete without telling the story of the two Nicole Cabell’s. Both have beautiful voices (so they are told), that are smoky, velvety and smooth, but only one sings classical music. Nicole Cabell is a Voice Over Artist, Professional Speaker and the host of Chicago Radio and she has invited her friend and Opera Singer, Nicole Cabell to talk about her music, her passions and her life on Friday, March 18th at 6PM CST.

CLICK ON THE PHOTO TO JOIN THE SHOW


Nicole Cabell, the 2005 Winner of the BBC Singer of the World Competition in Cardiff and Decca recording artist, is fast becoming one of the most sought-after lyric sopranos of today. Her solo debut album, “Soprano” was named “Editor’s Choice” by Gramophone and has received an incredible amount of critical acclaim and several prestigious awards: the 2007 Georg Solti Orphée d’Or from the French Académie du Disque Lyrique and an Echo Klassik Award in Germany.

Please join us as we explore the music and the woman behind the music of Nicole Cabell.  You don’t want to miss this interview, Friday, March 18th at 6PM CST.

Click on Nicole Cabell’s picture to join the show onFriday, March 18th at 6PM CST.

FINANCIAL EMPOWERMENT FOR WOMEN WITH BAHIYAH SHABAZZ

CLICK ON THE PHOTO TO JOIN THE SHOW LIVE

We are kicking off Women’s History Month programming with Bahiyah Shabazz, Chicago Radio’s Financial Correspondent. Bahiyah has been called a “solutions coach” who motivates others about financial empowerment. Together we will discuss some of the financial issues that we as women face. Todays show covers Financial Empowerment For Women and topics:  (A.) Busting The Money Myth (B) Loving Our Children Enough To Save and (C) Love and Money.

Shabazz is the author of two books: Stillwaters and Finances are Linked to Emotions. She has written news articles about emotional spending, strategic planning for businesses, premarital financial consultations, and finances for children.

Bahiyah Shabazz is the CEO and Founder of Shabazz Management Group, LLC a personal development-consulting firm. Shabazz grew up in Merrillville; earned her Bachelor’s in Psychology and Minority Studies at Indiana University and a MBA in Business and Finance at University of Phoenix. Join us live, Friday, March 12 at 11AM. To learn more about our Financial Correspondent visit http://www.bahiyahshabazz.com .

CHICAGO RADIO PORTRAIT OF AN ARTIST: A CONVERSATION WITH AUTHOR ROOSEVELT PITT ABOUT HIS LATEST PROJECT, CHARLES THE CHEF!

CLICK ON CHARLES THE CHEF TO HEAR THE INTERVIEW LIVE ON THURSDAY AT 12:OOPM CST

This Black History Month, across kitchens in America, African- Americans are “cooking up” some scrumptious food. Well, Roosevelt Pitt and Mshindo Kuumba have come along with a very interesting character who helps children develop a desire to eat healthy all the time. Charles the Chef is here to teach your children how to choose their foods wisely and have fun doing it.